When you apply for a job, there are Required Qualifications and Desired Qualifications for most job listings. Required Qualifications are skills the employers are expecting you to have to be considered for the position. Desired Qualifications are “nice to haves” that may move you ahead of someone else who meets the same required qualifications as you, but typically does not discount you from the consideration pile.
This week, I concluded that I have filled positions in the past, metaphorically, with individuals who did not meet the basic qualifications. Can any of you relate? A close friend of mine shared with me during a conversation, if I had looked closely, these people have shown me who they were the whole time, but I refused to listen always wanting to see the good in everyone.
I remember when my son was turning eight years old, and he started playing with a new baseball league. I was planning a birthday party for him, and I asked if he wanted to invite any of his baseball teammates. He told me, “Mom, these are new friends, and they have to prove themselves first.” Basically, he was not going vet them as friends until he got to know them. I thought this was so profound for someone his young age.
I use wisdom when choosing who I allow in my inner circle. In my past, I have shed many tears and have been betrayed from “so called friendships” that did not meet the minimum requirements. If I may be honest, these individuals were never going to be successful in the role because they did not master the skills necessary to fulfil the job. It does not make them a bad person, but Unqualified for that role.
Therefore, we must use godly wisdom in relationships. My desire is not to be at odds with God’s people. God has called us to be peacemakers (Matthew 5:9). Therefore, pursue peace with all people (Hebrews 12:14). I am not perfect, and I do not always get everything right, but I am not a baby in Christ anymore, and I know God’s way is best. We must deny the flesh.
The Holy Bible has many life experiences that is applicable even for today. God is amazing! If you read Samson’s story (Judges 13-16), he made a choice in trusting a mate that ended up costing him his life. There are consequences in our choices. Although, even in this story, God received the glory in the end! We serve a merciful God.
With that said, through the grace of God, my life lessons have made me the strong woman I am today. As this year comes to an end, and God-willing a new one begins, I encourage you to use wisdom in establishing relationships moving forward and let go of the pain that comes from continuously keeping folks in your inner circle who do not meet the minimum requirements.
I am not saying to cut anyone off. I do believe you have to meet people where they are or love them from afar. But it is not mentally healthy to continue getting upset with someone or expecting someone to meet qualifications that they are unable to meet. They are simply Unqualified for that role. And it is OK. None of us are perfect and we are all God’s children. Just use godly wisdom when interacting with them, if necessary.
Jesus went to the cross for us when the world did not believe He was God’s Son. He still loved us enough to save the world from their sins at the cross. Thank you, Jesus! Just imagine, if we spend less time getting mad at people, who do not fit the size 6 sneakers we are trying to cram them into, but spend more time loving them as God has called us to do, how much happier we will be.
I hope this post helps someone. God bless you all. Happy New Year’s Eve! Wishing you a Safe and Prosperous New Year!
If you’re not saved today, then I encourage you to visit my Salvation Prayer page. Choose today to start the New Year with Jesus Christ. The One who will NEVER fail you. Welcome Him into your heart today. You will not thirst again.
Love you all in Christ,
Ayesha L. Shoulders 💞
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